A Quarter Life Crisis

SMDH, do you see that dribble of juice left in those containers? (Granted the white cranberry juice probably wasn’t the best in hindsight but you get it I’m sure.) This picture depicts three of the six down to the last drop juice bottles left in my refrigerator. It was only right to show you what I am subjected to on an all too regular basis. Trust this is the norm and not an exception. By now I should just be used to this type of salute yet every time I see it tiny anger monkeys hop up and down on my shoulders.

Don’t be fooled this practice extends to other items in the house as well including cereal (both hot and cold), mouthwash pretty much anything that can be left to the last morsel chips or even the last drop….soap, whatever. And for this reason I must check everything. The checking is really what gets under my skin. It’s not that there’s no more or let me rephrase because clearly there’s something left it’s the fact that if said bottles or containers aren’t see thru I have no way of knowing until I go to pour myself some orange juice. And believe me at 7:00AM in the morning heading out the door to the office it’s just not the right time to surprise me with a squirt of OJ….seriously though now my whole f*cking morning is ruined.

Clearly the Little Brother has an issue with finishing anything…why I don’t know he also has an issue with closing the shower curtain after he’s done, go figure.

Ugh, this is why I don’t like roommates, sometimes. In general living with The Little Brother works well. He is around when I need him to lug my heavy arse laundry bag down the stairs. Most times he remembers to do his chores without nagging a friendly reminder and he even takes out the trash on cue. We don’t fight over trivial bs mainly because I don’t do confrontations. It’s just not my way. He understands my moods well enough to know when something has rubbed me wrong and most times he adjusts without having to go there. Believe me I hate having to go there. It’s happened once or twice and it wasn’t pretty.

The last time I had to go there involved the taking back of his car key….not pretty!

His perks outweigh mine though. He gets full use of my car without the decency of ever filling it up with gas or paying for general maintenance which also includes washing or vacuuming. He lives in a fantabulous apartment minus the ghetto that exists around us that he can’t afford. Totally heart my apartment, totally hate the neighborhood….if I had it to do over, or if I had the time to actually devote to looking I would move. But this is a story for another time. I exist as a 24hr bank account that never gets deposits just withdrawals but by no means bounces or says insufficient funds. And on some days I even have the privilege of selecting outfits for him to wear on dates with chicks using my car and 9 times out of 10 on my dime.

Clearly I am getting the short end of this here stick. Not to mention the damn boy can’t remember not to soak my friggin bathroom rug. Bathroom mats serve dual purposes, decoration and excess water catchers. The key word in that sentence was excess, it is not a towel and should at no time be soaking wet. Stepping on sloshy damp rug barefoot ain’t fun and will turn Faith into mean Faith instantaneously.

Sometimes I consider this my cross. Everyone must carry one to make it to the promise land. Of course The Little Brother does cart me back and forth to work (on the days I go to the office) with very little lip. But he should given his many many many privileges. In some ways I guess that makes me a touch spoiled and maybe I shouldn’t rant about him.


Side note: So why did I wake up hot with no electricity…..I will blog more later and now I am calling the Spaniard to take me home…this can’t end well. Oh and Fellow Traveler discovered my work secret…mum is the word!

Over the last week or so I’ve started talking to the other girls who work in my office. Normally I don’t pay attention to them because well one of them is the Sigher (prior posts shed light on her condition), one has a tendency to hunt for boogers (I’ve never actually seen it with my eyes but Mailroom Boy seems to always notice this out of his peripherals when he’s talking to me and I trust he wouldn’t lie about something so ginormously gross) and the other is cool but she travels just as much as I do. In an attempt to be office-mates I made a conscious effort to be less purposely antisocial with these women.

In doing so it’s paid off tremendously. Not because I have more people to talk to while at work, honestly I prefer to listen to my iPod as opposed to conversing with predult women discussing cheating or about to cheat boyfriends. There’s but so many bullshit conversations I stomach in one sitting. Work teams with bullshit conversations because most times you’re grouped with folk by division of labor instead of actual friendship ability. As far as I know there’s no workarmony you can sign up for to make sure you’re seated with like- minded individuals based on a bazillion questions to determine true compatibility, I’m just saying there isn’t!

In my case being the insurance professional I am has granted me the pleasure of a seat assignment betwixt the actuaries, yippee! I have no f’n clue what these czars of math are yakking about half the damn time and likewise when I speak about business process that look at me equally un-phased. Yeah seating genie you screwed up on this one!

For whatever reason the Sigher and Snot Rocket decided to ask if I wanted to join them for lunch a few weeks ago, bailing seemed a touch rude considering they jumped on the limb to ask. FortunatelyRegrettably I had conference calls all through lunch, as usual for some reason people zone in on that open hour between 12-1PM in my calendar and slip in meeting invites without my knowledge. Because obviously I don’t want to eat lunch…..ever! Before I know it I have no window for even a bio break but I’m digressing. In any event I didn’t make lunch.

Considering the effort I decided it made sense to, OK honesty here Faith, the one girl I am cool with, Fellow Traveler, persuaded me to go to lunch because she too can get a little weirded out by the odd coupling of Sigher and Snot Rocket (it might be a generational thing as Traveler and I are both five or so years removed from school while the others are fresh off the college express). In any event lunch this week with the troop wasn’t that bad.

Unintentional benefit number one, I actually took time for an official lunch and sat somewhere other than directly in front of my laptop soaking in all the cancerous light gleaming off the screen. It’s sad but I ‘m a bit of a workaholic. Unintentional mishap, completely missing the afternoon conference call on Monday luckily my manager who looks like Steve Carrell was pretty cool with it minus the frantic message he left on my cell. My brain might have been clouded by thoughts of freaking the Spaniard, opps Freudian slip.

The second unintentional benefit, Snot Rocket turned me on to Pandora Radio. Caution it will take about a week before your personalized free radio station 99.9999995% commercial free works perfectly but soooo worth the effort. You start with an artist or song that you like and from there the magic begins. The site works based on the music genome project grouping like music and artists based on your first pick. Don’t worry pretty much everything your mind conjures is there. Not to mention the site spits out tunes you may have never heard based on your current music selections and you may just find new artists to add to your faves. Pandora Radio gave me a leg shaking, bite the pillow musicasm!

Now instead of iPoding all day long I Pandora and can hear jewels from Hinder to Jay-Z with a dash of Lenny Kravitz, Billie Holiday, Duffy and Prince!

So I realize this has been around for awhile and I’m just learning about it, you faithful readers may already have known of this gem but at least let me feel like a kool kid for two seconds more.

Have fun Pandoring!