A Quarter Life Crisis

Rants With Atmosphere!!!

Weekend Update: Romps of the Newly Single

It’s odd because I’ve always touted my love of the single life. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying that single life is bad but it’s definitely for the birds. Dare I say I enjoyed the laziness of being in a relationship….not so much the work that it took but definitely enjoyed the benefits.

Oh God, who am I turning into these days?

Jumping back into the single’s game is not as easy as I would have hoped. Damn, I settled into that whole relationship thing too quickly. Oh side note: Did I mention that I gave it the ole college try for the second time around with The Spaniard. I won’t subject you to the boring deets (stole that from Lotusb), just know it ended in a fall out similar to this.

Did I mention my single and ready to mingle skills are a bit rusty. I’m sure they will come running back shortly bike riding skills style. One never forgets how to ride a bike she’s simply out of practice. Granted I was out this past weekend and didn’t feel the least bit fierce…although my shoes were screaming fierceness from the bottom of their souls!

Yes, shoes have soles and souls in my book!

It was good to be out and about, that I will admit. I enjoyed people watching especially when this sloppy hooker almost broke her ankle trying to cross the cobblestone in Olde City. Side note I must have missed the romper memo because I’m not all over this fashion trend. Needless to say Nurse Friend is way up to speed. Although some of the one-piece cat suit-esque numbers I saw on passersby left little to the imagination and kept me wondering if people have mirrors and where the ef are their friends.

In situations when outfits go ape shit, I don’t totally blame the wearer. Remember peeps everyone has that moment where you throw something on and you’re deluded by sheer ignorance or that imagine in your mind that you look like Dorothy Dandridge. Whatever the case may be you’re not in the right mind to make sound dressing decisions. This is when friends should step in and say, “Faith what the ef are you smoking? Take that hashish off before I smack the taste out of your mouth!” If that doesn’t happen your friends are scandalous whores who delight in other’s misfortune.

Anywho back to my single-ness, this summer should be fun. I anticipate a lot of late nights with the chicas and some date nights with some boys. Don’t worry I won’t rush to get boo-ed up too quickly even though the delights of couple-dome gave me a new perspective on relationships. The bennies (aka benefits) are amazing, like sleeping in my headscarf because the boy already knows my sezy! That hashish isn’t going down with new boys off the bat. Men have to be broken into the headscarvf cause ba-bey that thang ain’t the least bit cute.
The next few months should be interesting!!!

4 Pardon My French:

Ice Cold said...

You can be single and lazy too... :0)

Ndygo Sunshyne said...

"Take that hashish off before I smack the taste out of your mouth..."

I died & went to heaven right here.

Footnoting you "early." I WILL be stealing hashish & adding it to my lexicon. Thank you for my Friday gift!!

Anonymous said...

Lol...single again huh ( I know I'm all late ).... Yea me too. I'm wondering if I want to share my single-escapades on my blog or not...

And PS: I too wonder (as I stare open-mouthed in shock) why some people bypass the mirror step as they walk out the house.... I blame the mirror...

Chaotically Calm said...

@Ice Cold, you have a point, but lazy singleness is just boring. The whole point of being single is to mingle and have fun. At least in my book.

@Ndygo, Please borrow away. Anything I find that I like I put in my pocket for the right moment. But on another note I'm glad I could add some funny to your Friday.

@Lotus B, hey Chica you're only a little late to the party. I called it quits with The Spaniard but I sense a summer full of potentials.

Touche the mirror is equally to blame for some of these disaster areas I see walking the streets. So what's your feeling on the romper craze that's running the streets or is that just a Philly thing?


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