If anyone wants to know I wasn’t in Vancouver this week. I was in Chi-town booyah!!!! (Hella swamped with work with no ability or time to blog properly and for that I’m sorry.) Well not exactly booyah because I didn’t see anything besides the hotel room, the hotel’s attempt at a sports bar and the client’s office. Yes it’s depressing I know Chi-town is actually quite the swell happening spot…maybe next time.
If anyone wants to know Wander called me last weekend sticking yet another thorn in this here quarter life crisis by saying something to the effect, I hope you don’t end up alone with a whole bunch of cats. I really want you to be able to love someone. Do you want to go with me to Lord & Taylor to buy some boots? Uh yeah I want some boots but can we address the first part of your statement before we run off on a shopping spree?
Wander these sideways comments must cease…I mean seriously, you think I don’t already stress enough about the future of Faith enough! Would she prefer I settle?
This comment while I know has good intention somewhere behind it, I hope, implies I’m incapable of loving someone. And by default will end up on a porch somewheres knitting with two cats on my lap. Way to show your Faith in me Wander.
Couple that comment with The Spaniard and his you’re such a guarded person BS and you have the makings of a quarter life nervous break-down minus the Lexapro (that’s not a stab at anyone who takes meds responsibly because for some folk it is very very very necessary and for others well it’s a substitute for dealing with life’s ups and downs…I am off the soapbox, feel free to disagree). OK not really a nervous break-down per se but y’all know I loves me some dramaticals ( I get it natural see Wander’s comments above.) because it makes for better story telling am I right? Come on now you can tell me.
Alrighty back to the point…did I actually have a point…not sure this post is a bit of a ramble. Anywho I pocketed Wander’s gem along with Spaniard's half a gem and went on with my week. My super packed work week that is with nothing more than the morning stretch and scratch to serve as me time, yet somehow I managed to fit in reading a couple articles out of Glamour.
In my world Glamour is a more adult version of Cosmopolitan, don’t argue just go with it.
In addition to reading Glamour I stole a second or two, alright I stole like five minutes to check my comments from the prior week and respond. My blogging faithfuls and you know who you are dropped some serious knowledge. Since, as far as I know none of you have syndicated shows let me be the first to say y’all are better than Oprah I Swear for Jesus Winfrey! In truth I respect your thoughts more so than some of the non blog folk I see in person…you know real world people I interact with not via computer…scary right!
If I may paraphrase and I can because this is my house and I live here…hey isn’t that a song (Diana Ross)…I am so random today…must be the Friday bug.
Cardio Girl said (in my CG voice): Sweep the leg, Betch, either you gotta shet or get off the pot! I kid I kid. She really said as you grow and learn more about this thing we call life your perspective is gonna change. And it’s OK if it changes; don’t beat yourself up about it.
Reforming Geek said: Howdy, divorce happens make a damn decision already…no no that’s not what she said. She said if the only thing holding you back from something you want is a little snafu maybe you should give it some more consideration.
La’Tonya said: Honey don’t apologize for wanting who you want when you want him but make sure you’re comfortable with him and he treats you with respect! You’re young have fun, drink beer and be merry. Ok I added that last part!
Glamour Magazine said: Don’t apologize for who you are! Be happy in your own skin, emote confidence, demand respect and do it in a killer outfit.
Oh I must not forget my girl Diva! Diva told me a long time ago to play hard but be prepared for the consequences!
So I’m off to find shoes to match this killer outfit…deuces!
What is this life about?
Sometimes at night when I hug my pink and green blanket that was so nicely knitted for me by a friend’s girlfriend I wonder if I’ll ever have the perfectly fulfilled life of a modern day super woman: a career that pays the bills with extra to buy fierce heels and handbags as well as a comfortable home life with a sezylicious husband and 2.5 children. Granted I never understood how one has 2.5 children I mean either you have 2 or 3 but I’m sure you get what I’m saying.
During my scans of the blogger world I find myself most interested outside of folk who live stupenderful singles lives equally drawn to chiquittas who blog about family life (mostly stay at home moms). On some level I presume I want that too. It’s seems to be at polar odds with everything that comes out of my mouth but on some elemental level I want to be someone’s wife…I think.
Well at least this week that’s what I thought about. Believe it or not people I even gave serious thought to being an ahemmom! (Shuddering a little in a corner, didn’t come to a conclusion) Nope you didn’t read that last line wrong. I actually sat down and had a one-on-one with Faith and said damn it don’t you think you have something to offer the world? When I take the long walk I don’t want a headstone that reads there lays a chica who had great taste in shoes and helped every insurance carrier and self insured develop efficient and effective claim processes. That life is hollow and superficial and quite sad actually…not to mention lonely as hell!
Don’t get me wrong…I wouldn’t categorize myself as lonely. And before you run off to prescribe some type of Lexapro for me I’m not depressed….at least I don’t think so…no I’m not depressed, just pensive. And honestly if I wanted a body just for the sake of feeling another person next to me I could have my bed occupied. (That’s not me being conceited; this post isn’t about inflating my ego.) Finding a body is simple. Finding that imperfect person to suit me perfectly…quite the pill to swallow without a chaser and personally I’m a fan of chasers. Thought I had a leg up in the race considering that I know myself but knowing me isn’t enough for this test it appears.
I’ve always been a great student but for whatever reason I’m failing these classes…at least that’s how it feels.
Sadly I can’t tell you where all this is coming from. I did over the weekend run into one of my exes. He still has the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen…hazel grey pools that are easy to lose yourself in if not careful. He’s married with children now…but wasn’t with his wife at the movies. I guess this is the way of the world today. Married is the new single!
I’m noticing many a wedding bell tolled for a number of my ex tools. When dating them I knew they were of the marrying kind. Maybe on some level I wanted them to convert me. Definitely boys to bring home to mom…I never did because I knew I wasn’t in it for the long haul. Does that make me selfish?
Several posts ago I said I noticed that a lot of my exes are selfish but like attracts like right? On some level I too must have a selfish streak. It’s such an unsightly personality trait really but the first step is admitting a problem exists!
The Spaniard told me I’m cold. Granted he doesn’t really have a true say but it’s not the first time I’ve heard this from a guy.
Me: You haven’t given me a reason not to be. When I was trying with you I was wrapped in a lie. Not only that if you really knew me I’m the farthest from cold. Ask anyone who’s behind my walls.
The Spaniard: I want to be one of those people, but I guess I deserve this?
Me: As long as you realize how I treat you now is a direct reflection of everything we’ve been through we’ll be fine. Don’t expect me to run into your arms like some damn romantic comedy because you’ve tried to weasel back into my life under the guise of friendship. This ain’t the movies and I’m not stupid. I won’t be mean to you because that’s not my way.
The Spaniard: My behavior has to change I know. The divorce will be final in two months. I will do anything.
Me: Please don’t feed me lines I’m not in the mood. Look I have to go to the laundry mat.
The Spaniard: Sure…it’s almost 9…you can tell me if you’re going out…is there someone else.?
Me: Good night!
Regression…I need to stop torturing myself. In the past I would have called him an asshole and never accepted another call. I need that Faith back…where has she gone….she was a bitch though!
Side note on my way to San Francisco (lay-over) I sat next to this Cute Elderly Couple, probably in their late fifties to early sixties. During take-off I noticed Cute Elderly Wife get a little antsy. Cute Elderly Husband responded by grabbing her hands and she laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. She stayed that way until we reached cruising altitude.
Maybe married isn’t the new single!
P.S. I’m kind of glad I’m going away for business…my mind will be so taxed with client work I’ll have little if any time to devote to this quarter life crisis.
Back to what I love most-est..and that would be ranting. Oh you don’t know how much I’ve missed ranting my little head off on this here thing I call my blog. Damn that Vancouver you get the forever stank eye o_0!!!!
Anywho back to the actual meat and potato portion of the meal shall we.
And yes I know I’m way late and a dollar short of 100 bucks but can someone please please please tell me why anyone took the
Heene family seriously? OK granted I am a forever cynic and don’t really take anything anyone says at face value but a six year old floating away in a homemade helium balloon…to believe this you must be smoking crack! Not to mention that at the precise time of take off the two other children just happened to be recording it…coincidence I think
wife swap not!
Not only that but this family already had glorious dreams of reality stardom. And side note when did being a reality star become the business (this is slang and it means awesome carry on)? Tell me reality star wannabes what exactly are you aspiring too? Oh that’s right you want to eat disgusting things for money, pimp out your man or woman parts for money, do borderline retarded things for money…does anyone see a theme here…if not it’s the for money part! So there you have it money is truly the root of all things Lil Wayne evil!
I can’t stomach this rant much longer so I’m calling it quits.
On to dumber pastures…well not actually dumber but even more depressing and depraved. If you haven’t heard this story let me be the first to introduce it to you.
Now at times I can be a bit uncaring but this bitch, yes I called her a bitch, is psychotic and needs more than the book thrown at her. If you didn’t read the story here’s my news byte; some gutter trash whore left her two and three year old nephews alone while she and the children’s mother drove a friend home. While carting said friend home the aunt’s house became engulfed in flames. As the neighbors listened in anguish to the little babies cries for help the mom and aunt were chillaxing on the drive back. Due to the amount of smoke and size of the flames neighbors were unable to get inside the home to rescue the children. Luckily firefighters were able to get to the kids and rush them to the hospital. Unfortunately one of the innocents didn’t make it and the other is in critical condition. Upon arrival at the scene the aunt had this to say after being asked if she regretted leaving the kids alone.
No, I really don’t because if they had been there by themselves, I don’t know if the boys set the house on fire or somebody threw something in there to set it on fire. I really need to get in there to see if my purse burned up. I had my Food Stamp Card and everything in there.
I couldn’t make this up if I tried. Need I really say more…OK I will. Is she kidding me? Now I get that some folks don’t actually process tragedy that well and maybe she was in a massive state of denial but WTF!!!!! Fits of uncontrollable tears and cries of pain I get but this I can’t understand on any level.
No seriously her food stamp card!!!!
On soooo many levels right now I want to inject her with a syringe full of hot battery acid. One of her nephews burned to death and the other is tapping on death’s door due to some janky behavior from both herself and the kid’s mom and this dirty hooker is worried about a damn food stamp card.
Priorities!
Can someone tell me why she wasn’t arrested at the scene of the crime?
OK giving myself a chill pill. I have one more item of contention folks and this is more of a personal pet peeve and a question than a rant rant. Do you like hairy men? I have all types of issues with hairy men. I think this stems from being picked up by a hairy dude as a child and accusing him of being a bear…it was hella scary. Anyway there’s nothing wrong with a little trim (ha ha that was hilarious and dirty all at the same time) gents. It doesn’t make you less manly to manscape. No one wants to rub against a burka. And not for nothing hair traps odors…ugh ugh and double ugh!
And that is all.
