A Quarter Life Crisis

I told myself I wasn’t gonna make a post about the Octo-Mommy. I stopped making jokes in my head that no amount of kegel exercises would ever return her to what once was. And this was before I heard she was a husbandless jobless Angelina Jolie lip injection freak of nature. OK maybe that was a little too harsh. But you get my drift.

Today I wake up and catch a 5 second news clip reporting Octo-Mommy’s been offered 1.5M to shoot a porno. My initial thought, you don’t want to know my initial thought but my second thought was you can’t keep a good media whore down. For that matter you can’t keep a whore of any nature down but that’s a whole other post altogether.

Octo-Mommy’s been running the media circuits like a washed-up child actor trying to rekindle the flame. It wasn’t enough to fade into the background after birthing a litter? To some degree the scrutiny this test tube miracle’s produced is 100% her fault (I mean how often do we actually see assembly line-ish deliveries?). The other half of the blame falls with the American public who love to squeeze a lemon until the last bit of sour juice seeps out.

Yes yes us Americans loves us some gossip!

For some unknown reason we feel it’s our duty to uncover her naughty life secrets as if she doesn’t deserve a shred of privacy. And I guess since she opened wide and exposed the family jewels; so to speak, in some odd way by digging up her dirt we’re giving her exactly what she wants, to feel important and cared about. She’s obviously suffering from some mental condition (BPS- Birth a Pack Syndrome) that’s fueling this un-natural pre-occupation with having children.

It boggles the mind that a sane person, relatively speaking, thinks raising 14 children (some of which are mentally impaired) with no money outside of the tax-payer dollars is a good idea. Somewhere there’s a screw loose folks. Which brings me to my point (I know sometimes it takes me a minute to get there) what doctor in his right mind actually thought helping a jobless single mother sucking off the government’s tit mass produce kids was sheer brilliance? Now it seems not only is Octo-Mommy a stark raving mad lunatic her neo-natal team are a bunch of mad scientists as well. If irresponsibility ever had a face this group of people would be poster children.

All jokes aside isn’t there a screening process for IVF? In my previous post about Egg Donation I ranted about the “process” of becoming just an egg donor. With donation you don’t even have any hands on contact with the kiddies you just pass your DNA in egg form over to a wanting family. And in order to provide the gift o’ life there’s a ridonkulous Fort Knox level staged screening process before you’re even considered a half decent candidate. Whack-jobs just don’t make the last leg of the race.

However, this seems quite the opposite, someone’s turned the process on it’s ass and let any ole podunk chick pop out multiple bundles of cuddly joy. Don’t get me wrong I’m not trying to cock block anyone’s reproductive rights but come on there’s gotta be a limit. In her prior state 6 seems irresponsible but 14 enters the territory of, ARE YOU SMOKING CRACK?

I personally nominate that as the first question before anyone else mounts the stirrups!