A Quarter Life Crisis

Soul's Mate ©

I'm lost
in an ocean of thoughts
of a man I've always loved
bounded in time
between when I did and didn't
I drown in his memory
even before I was aware
his name's been etched on my heart
birthed with a corner specifically
structured for him
owned by him
filled by no other
replaced by none
and sometimes I wonder
if the eyes of others
are mirrors to their souls
the way my eyes tell my story
If true
buried below a glowing smile
sits caged love
trapped as a clipped winged Angel
dying to soar
and I've never spoken my heart's voice
a lesson unlearned
in life's classroom
leaving me suffocating beneath
an unspoken heart
craving words to speak it's thoughts
and his ears to receive its words
His memory creeps between
the halls of my mind
once the walls of my heart
Cave in
Tapping on the bridge of my thoughts
leaping to my lips to scream
incomprehensible words
of a love that' lost
sitting inches away
but outside my reach
cause time moves forward
not in reverse
so my mind's pictures
are photographs of yesterday
that I can't have tomorrow
and as it's written it's done
making my past with him
a collection of
firsts, lasts, joys, wins and loses
yet,
his face remains clear
and I still see his eyes
chestnut passageways to his innocence
smoothed beneath machismo
still taste the lightest hint
of strawberry daiquiri
wetting his lips
still feel goose bumps emerge
on skin grazed by his hands
and I wake
cause it's a dream
my mind unconsciously
unraveling reality
I wake
to his absence
praying I stole him from a snap-shot of the past
but he's gone
my soul's mate
loose among a public
where he'll learn
to love someone else
less......
comfortably