A Quarter Life Crisis

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It Ain't Cute-Busting A Sag

No I am not one of those old ladies petitioning for a pull up your damn pants law. I am a young lady whose petitioning for a pull up your damn pants law, just kidding I wanted to see if you're awake. Bottom line here folks when was this attractive? OK don't get me wrong I went through my predult years when I would drool over the older boys playing football, softball, basketball whatever you get my drift they were playing some type of game with balls (I just made myself laugh out loud) with their pants down to their ankles showing off major butt cleave and happy trails. As a young girl coming into her own it was actually a little bit of a rush. My friends and I could ogle and giggle and do all the things that annoying little girls do when older boys are around that are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hoooooooooot! Shuttering to admit the fact I do recall even saying to a friend during those years of blissful ignorance that it was so cute when (insert crush of the moment here) wears his pants just off his butt so you can see his boxers (you know cause I was way into boxers at that time).

Believe me I just threw up in my mouth too! So I have to ask, fellas why not pull up your knickers? Do you have some type of waistline aversion that I should know about to explain this phenomenon? It has to get a bit drafty on your backsides I know having my own frontal cleavage one crisp wind and it's over for me but of course to some extent I have little choice in the matter, you on the other hand are welcoming the winds. Does it make you feel all hoodtabulous, believe me that's not cute. I know I know you hear all the time that we girls like gangstas. And to some extent a bad boy is quite delectable but and this is a ginormous but it gets old real damn quick. Personally I like men who pay taxes (that's subtle humor).

What kills me even more is most of you are actually wearing belts. WTF for? Explain why in the world you need a belt when your pants are at your knees! I dated (and this is embarrassing) a guy whose pants were so large he actually fit gym shorts and some times sweats underneath. It was mind boggling. He was a human version of a clown car. He used to say he just needed the space, for what air cause he darn sure wasn't filling it with anything else. I hope he's grown out of that practice and has pants that appropriately sit on his waist.

Guys, there's nothing wrong with a little fashionable sag with limits. Just don't go all Lil Wayne, Jim Jones, Chris Brown (king of the tight fitted sagging pants see picture) on me. And please please please for the love of mankind don't buy over sized ridonkulous pants to hang off your backside showing crack like a plumber. At least the plumber has an excuse, he's packing tools.

Maybe it's just an age thing, I developed this disdain once I became a part of the need a paycheck to pay my bills world. So I think there's hope for the masses. Maybe us ladies need to step in a give some incentives. If I can "convince" a 6'9" iron worker to shave/wax his chest I know that as a collective group we can rally against the sagging pant nation one belt loop at a time.

7 Pardon My French:

Lotus said...

But Faith....of COURSE they can't pull up tha pants...! If they pull up their pants then all the women like us won't know how to spot the idiots.

...Sagging pants are a GREAT idiot-detection aide. Simply steer clear of these guys, they haven't been baked thoroughly.


Jenn Thorson said...

The belt thing I think is a new addition to this particular fashion concept. But I had to laugh, because I KNOW in college many, many moons ago (pun not necessarily intended but appropriate) that I was saying the very SAME things to my friends about this trousers trend.

I graduated college in '93. So this means this trend has been going on a whopping 15 freakin' years. That's longer than the careers of most boy bands.


Chaotically Calm said...

@Lotus...you raise a great point...without this type of moron detection I'd actually have to talk to them. LMAO

@Jenn...it's sad but true. I remember in 95 starting HS and thinking those guys were so cool and scrumptious.....good thing in the last 13 years I've matured or something.

Longer careers than boy bands..you're too funny.

timethief said...

Jenn has raised an important point. Why the longevity of this awful saggy assed fashion faux pas? For 15 years we have been exposed to hairy ass cracks and I tell you true when I say - they are not a turn on for me. Losus B also has a point those wearing saggers are clearly low functioning and their exposure is clear an idiot on board warning.

Arcticulates said...

I really don't get that style either. I have seen many that are actually hobbled by their own pants/belts. Not a good thing when you need to move quickly, And have you seen them try and get out of a car??

But to be fair... I don't appreciate seeing the tushies of females either, with the very low tight jeans, way too much exposure to me..

If I wanted to see that much behinds on anyone, I would want it in an intimate relationship only!

I hate to say it... but there are some pretty ugly tuckus' out there on both sides of the fence! :)

NathanKP said...

Very good post! I love it. I have to agree with Lotus, though. :)

NathanKP - Inkweaver Review

Daily Spirit said...

Well, I guess I *am* one of those crotchety old ladies. I don't find butt cleavage one bit attractive.

When I see that, I want to yell, "Hey Loser! Your draws is showin'. But, I don't.

Hey, I'm one of those nice old ladies who's only crotchety to others in the car :)


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