A Quarter Life Crisis

Rants With Atmosphere!!!

Psychos Need Not Apply-Roommate Wanted!

So randomly a friend hinted at the idea of getting a roommate. Now I'm not opposed to the splitting the bills of it all. In all actuality I am so pro splitting the bills it's not even funny. Case in point, splitting the bills puts more money in the spend on useless stuff that you don't need, won't wear, can't remember the next day and overall unsure where all your damn money went bucket. Or maybe that's just me, but in his case a roommate just doesn't make much sense considering his mode of attracting a roommate is an ad on Craigslist.

Anywho he calls me up with this salesman spiel about getting a warm body in his otherwise cold efficiency. Yep no need to re-read that last sentence folks you heard me right, efficiency. Gi-normous with 16ft ceilings it might be I just can't picture two living breathing red blooded quarter lifers living in this type of space. Like any good friend I voiced my concern about privacy when you, well never mind just privacy in general. Or maybe guys don't really think about the running to the bathroom at 4AM sans shirt and bra of it all. I mean that would shock me. And let me not even get into the bathroom sharing situation. I'm skeeved out just thinking the thoughts.

My friend thinks that since he's rarely home (off riding the rails to NYC all the time for a job and significant other) it just makes sense to plant a willing unknown in his apartment. Oh yeah now I'm on your side, it makes perfect sense to invite a stranger (the people we tell our children to avoid at all costs) to shit, sleep and shower in your place 24/7 with complete lack of supervision. If he hasn't noticed we live in Philadelphia while it is the city of brotherly love and sisterly affection, it's also the most murder rich city in the nation second only to Camden. But he doesn't have to worry about being smothered to death in his sleep since he's not home majority of the time.

Now that he's avoided an unfriendly death (not that death comes with a smile unless...never mind) maybe he'll return home from a tiring day of prodding folks with needles (he's in the medical profession) to a completely empty apartment. Or better yet to his newly acquired roommate running around in his favorite boxer briefs. Oh believe me crazier things have happened. Nope, no way I think avoiding the psycho stalker roommate situation is in his best interest. I'm almost positive that Craigslist doesn't have lunatic weeding components hidden in it's software.

Regardless of what I say he's going to place this I want a thieving killer to share my apartment ad anyway. I'm gonna be the bigger person and when he comes home to the empty wall where his flat screen used to be I won't say that I told him so.

Until next time folks.

2 Pardon My French:

Alicia aka "Fashiona" said...

Roommates are tough. Even if they are sane, their friends or significant other may not be.


Robin said...

I have only had roommates in college, and it was hell trying to find a normal person with similar habits even then, and presumably college students have a lot more in common with each other than people in the general population. I know a guy who has a large house who rents 2 of his bedrooms out. His last roommate turned out to be totally unreasonable and threatened the guy, so he got kicked out. He later learned the roommate had served time in juvenile prison for murder. There are just too many unknowns with roommates.


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