A Quarter Life Crisis

Rants With Atmosphere!!!

Week in Review: Clearing the Roster, Lingering Doubts, Block Parties in North Philthy and Tattoos at Midnight

My new inspiration!!

After my last week of emotional turmoil I was ready to wipe the slate clean. And by clean I mean get rid of excess baggage weighing me down…in other words cut some of the strings on these going no where courtships.

Rounding up the usual suspects, Zack Morris, Trini Man, Jamerican, Jon B and Mr. Late Nite…deleted. This leaves room for a new line up for fall or to decide on my actual feelings for Pretty Skin. Are there feelings there...I’m not sure there are? At the end of the day he’s a nice guy but as we know nice guys finish last. And not for nothing being a nice guy doesn’t automatically enable you to set up residence on the island.

Nice guy = boring guy, the jury’s still out on this one????

Of late, I’ve been beating myself up about Pretty Skin. Despite his purple elephant he is what I say I’m looking for…mostly. Considering his elephant, the fact that he has a child is a molehill. And y’all know how I feel about men with children. His lack of a steady tax-paying job, while still wearing fly gear is a bit questionable; I will reserve my accusations for a later date, I saw rubber banded money stacks and had a flashback of younger dumber Faith. I live under the philosophy don’t ask questions whose answers you aren’t prepared for. In this case, if PS responded that he fell back on his ways of old…I’m not prepared to have that type of thing in my life. Been down that road before and don’t want to go back!

Outside of Pretty Skin’s annoying reference to me by male descriptors as in man (I think this is his favorite word) he hasn’t done anything that would suggest booting him off the island. Of course as the Best Friend has told me time and time again, you can’t create feelings where feelings don’t exist. Kissing this man is no more stimulating than writing a check…and mama hates paying bills. There’s no spark. Am I overlooking his sezy? Maybe I need to dig beneath the surface and underneath I’ll find a guy who likes to travel (outside of the neighborhood), enjoys art and all types of music, dabbles in philosophy, not afraid to voice his political opinion and enjoys a scary movie every once and again. That last part is ginormously important. The last two guys I took seriously refused to watch scary movies, punks!

Maybe it’s too soon for me to move on. Maybe I need to fester in the unresolved feelings that I have for the Spaniard.

Anywho, earlier in the month, Pretty Skin invited the chicas and I to his block party. For those out of the know Philadelphia in the summer is block party central. On any given weekend in the city there are probably at least 10-12 city approved and 20-25 unsanctioned block parties happening simultaneously. I was less than enthused but I’d agreed to swing by, a woman of my word. I drug Nurse Friend with me to “enjoy” the festivities.

It was decent for what it was. I expected to see a whole lot of tomf*ckery and hosh*t but the residents kept it to a minimum. Pretty Skin intro-ed me to some members of the family, cool. I met more of PS’ friends (one of which took a strong liking to Nurse Friend, she wasn’t feeling him but the other one was right up her alley…gotta figure out his marital situation) and saw a whole slew of chicks giving mad stank eye (o_0). I had to laugh at this. Chicas chicas chicas it really isn’t that serious if you want Pretty Skin he is yours for the taking, I lay no claim. While he is physically a sight to see I’m rarely swayed, talking potential boo, by a pretty face. I like to know there’s something under the hood worth inspecting.

Side note PS never introduced me to his daughter, I respect him for that even though she was there. No need for introductions when neither of us knows where this is going. And I sensed hella tense vibes when a certain chick of video hoe caliber strolled her way up to his family’s table. Sometimes you can just smell that two people have done the naked mambo, giving out awkward body no touch hugs, you feel me?

The best part of the day was when Pretty Skin’s auntie (I say auntie because she’s from the south) jumped up and started dancing in the middle of the street breaking nothing down but the air. In her mind, she was getting it but what stopped the record for me, Auntie flashing vajayjay…me no likey the vajayjay. By the time everyone started doing line dances a la electric slide I was at my limit.

My friends forewarned the Electric Slide and any of his bastard children are off limits at any function I hold.

Pretty Skin and I parted ways with a single kiss and a hug. Did I ever tell y’all that hugs make me uncomfortable? I always feel presume from the hugger to put some emotion into it and if I’m not digging you my body betrays the lies my face and tongue sometimes tell.

Again no true sparks…I want to fade to black no one else exists and I hear music playing when I kiss him…but I can’t make feeling exist where there are none. With the Future Ex Husband I used to hear this and with the Spaniard I heard this…everyone inspires his own song…I want that feeling back!

This could be a sign or I could be over analyzing, it’s one or the other!

In random news, I ended the night in pain…getting inked. On the inside of my left wrist sits the cutest little super detailed humming bird. How do I plan to explain this to CEO’s of fortune 500 companies…I don’t. My answer to them is simple and all the way ghettofab…stay in ya lane homie and watch ya neck also known as keep your mouth shut and mind your business.

Humming birds stand for peace, love and happiness. I need a large helping of all three. Tattoos are cathartic. When my Pop-Pop passed instead of dealing, I got inked and let the physical pain mask the emotional. Physical pain is easy (for me at least) it stings for a minute, maybe even an hour…emotional pain can last a lifetime. You judge it!


5 Pardon My French:

cardiogirl said...

Okay, most of the time I know exactly what you're talking about and enjoy -- hugely -- your Faithisms. I'm all about saying the same old thing in a new way.

But you stopped me in my tracks with: talking potential boo.

Is that the potential to knock boots?

Side note: When I clicked on the Faith Evans song I thought it was a Faith Hill song and the visuals seem a bit sensual for Ms. Hill. Then I realized my mistake and had a good laugh.

DaBossBitch said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DaBossBitch said...

I have become a big believer in the "Spark". It's so necessary! Once you have Spark how can you revert to No Spark. It's just the worst when you're waiting to feel something and everything else in the interim is a formality. Just going through the motions. Any relationship that develops from that will be driven by routine and familiarity.

Ndygo Sunshyne said...

yeah so uhmmm....hey girl hey.

Pretty Skin sounds like he's.....DONE!

I don't know if you recall the character known as Transformers over on Broken Silence, but he requires too much thought. Which, to me (& my older sister & several of my girlfriends) means he cannot by a vowel & I should stop trying to help him create words without them. It ain't there. Friendship, maybe. Dating? HELL NO! LET IT GO!! (new slogan, not be used @ civil rights rallies)

Chaotically Calm said...

@CG, You are too funny! I was debating whether I should right boo or beau...I should chosen beau. Basically I was saying that if it's some random guy that I am dating with no intention on calling him by boyfriend he can just be eye candy. If I am thinking he might be a boyfriend I need something more.

Ha ha the dueling Faiths. Side note and maybe this is racial and maybe it isn't. My black friends sometimes call me Faith Evans but my white friends call me Faith Hill...go figure.

@DBB, yeah the spark is a necessary evil. I just wanna meet someone who inspires music...no one since the Spaniard.

@Ndygo, I talked to him on my way home and it was the most boring conversation ever. He was lucky I was driving for hours or else I would have hung up. And he needs to stop calling me man...I tried to tell him this subtly but clearly I need to just say dude get it through your head I have a vajayjay....you'll probably never see if but I do have one.

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