A Quarter Life Crisis

Rants With Atmosphere!!!

Week in Review: Surprise Me With More of the Same…..

As predicted work dwindled by Monday, which means my billable hours went down to next to nothing. Great wonderfuckingful that’s exactly what I didn’t need heading into a semi lengthy vacation. In any event I go over the details with my counselor/manager (she acts as though she doesn’t know but I know she does) who says that I need to work on expanding my internal network. Ugh ugh ugh, this wouldn’t be so bad if I actually liked the people I worked with or didn’t think they were full of shit.

Every time I meet a new consultant they are well, more of the same. Phony as a $2 bill and will try to sell you the shoes on your feet, all that the same time, its consultant multi-tasking at its absolute best. Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate having a job every morning I wake and can shower, slip into my pjs and work from the comfort of my bed. No complaints there….most days but I also didn’t saddle myself in college debt to play the who’s the most popular game instead of who’s the best suited for the job. Consulting is very much high school in pantsuits and snazzy skirt blouse ensembles, don’t worry I have the wardrobe down to a T.

In any event my year end review was more of the same, the fake consultant-ese that irks the piss out of me. My counselor sets up a meeting that was interrupted by multiple phone calls, asks if I read the review she sent the night before (because work is really a 24hr type of thing) and if I have any questions. About the form, no not really I comprehend English very well. What about the direction you want to take with the company? She doesn’t want my real answer. Everything is ice cream cones and popsicles, at least that’s what I told her…not in those words of course I did mention that I don’t see where I fit with this type of work really, you know me being on the flip side of liar and not really interested in selling folks concepts or programs or products they could do without. She overlooks that comment and focuses on the ice cream cones and popsicles. This was to be expected but I had to at least throw the bone. She didn’t fetch.

Sometime during the review I mutter (under my breath) kick rocks bioytch just so I felt like I expressed some of my true feelings. None the wiser, given the multiple phone calls answered and who knows how many e-mails, some even to me. Then she hit me with the due to the horrendeful year everyone’s had pretty much no one is getting a raise. Not unexpected in the least. And ended with this nugget, you’re doing an awesome job everyone sees that please look at the opportunities not as criticism but as real opportunities for you to become the best consultant you can be. Deconsultantify, keep doing what I’m doing so I can one day wake up a car salesman in a pricier suit…uh maybe not so much!

On a more interesting note and little less of the same, Mailroom Boy mentioned he should find a career. Hmmmm, I believe this epiphany is about 10-12yrs late but as they say better late than never. This is not me judging. I mean honestly I am in a “career” but still wake up with the feeling of what the frig should I do with my life hence this quarter-life crisis. And when I think about it, it’s easier to dip out of the mailroom than it is to dip out of insurance consulting. This is a crony network not only do I work with internal folks we serve tons of clients and an AWOL type of bail out smears your reputation. Reputation trumps all so the departure must reek of pc-ness. All sides must agree, and if I leave for an insurance company I have to sign a confidentiality statement.

Why not ask for my first born it might be less painful.

However my ears did perk up when Mailroom Boy said this. It demonstrates some potential but I won’t let my panties drop for a spark he needs to create a full blown flame. His statement falls into the I will believe it when I see it category…my trust levels are running on empty these days. In true friend fashion I told him anything that he puts his mind to I have faith (no pun intended) he can achieve. And that statement wasn’t laced with consultant bullshit either.

Anywho Mailroom Boy invited me to a nearby state park this weekend for a bbq…sounds like fun.

3 Pardon My French:

ReformingGeek said...

I always hated performance reviews. Where I worked, they were written based on how they ranked you overall and not as much on your performance. What a joke.

Sometimes it's hard finding the balance between being true to yourself and playing some of the games needed to be successful in your career.

Melinda said...

I just went through a performance review at my own place of employment--and it went well. Thankfully, these reviews are actually based on performance rather than petty likes/dislikes. Right now, I am adjunct teaching and I love not being *too close* to the infrastructure of the department and university--it's like I'm on the peripheral of all the political BS that occurs in the department--and I wouldn't have it any other way!

I hope you are able to enjoy your lengthy va-cay!


Chaotically Calm said...

@Reforming, I am finding I like playing the games less and less...seems like some of those housewives might have had the right idea.

@Melinda, see that actually sounds like a blast adjunct professor...of course I might need to acquire a PhD or people might look at me funny....


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