A Quarter Life Crisis

Rants With Atmosphere!!!

Week In Review AKA Vacation Review: Guess Who’s Bizzack and Picking Up Some Rose Quartz

Arriving back home from vacation is bittersweet. Miami bronzed my skin and relaxed my mood like no one else could. The beach was amazing and the rooftop pool at the Marriott gets two thumbs up! Mother Nature even stopped rearing her ugly head and provided some stupenderful weather days for the trip. For that I must give her a virtual high five.

Of course she did get me back by way of sunburn. Yep don’t re-read that last line I am all types of sun burnt along my back, the midgets not to mention my rudolf (aka nose) is looking a bit flakey as well. It wouldn’t be that bad if my skin didn’t feel like rawhide and look like I’d been whipped for stealing. It’s a small price to pay. Additionally my hair….baaaaabyyyyy! Chile my hair is all types of Celie from the Color Purple….ok that’s dramaticals but the silky silky is curly curly. I had to let the natural curl out the box…I think some people were shocked to see it. Hell I shocked myself but I couldn’t help it after a couple of dips in the pool and a sprint in the ocean I let go of a long time hang up. Don’t worry the silky silky will be back Friday.

If I never see another speedo it will be too soon. Kidding most of the gents walking the sand in nut munchers were in great shape a la Michael Phelps. Of course the steroid freaks whose arses swallow the tiny shorts don’t look all that great to me but to each his own really. And on a side note…much much prettier women than attractive men, no lesbo.

And a quick question to the lovely folks of South Beach, does everyone drive a fantabulous cars??? I mean seriously my friends and I were eating breakfast at Jerry’s Deli on 14th and Ocean and watched a lineup; Bently, Lambo and Rolls Royce. WTH, a little jealous…maybe!

Good drinks and late nights that’s how I would describe the trip. Of course Nurse Friend found out that at any random moment I break into song. She listened to my crazy rendition of Rihanna’s Please Don’t Stop the Music and La Cucaracha. Nurse Friend was only impressed with Rihanna, somehow La Cucaracha wasn’t a big hit. In addition she said I’m addicted to bathing. I believe I took at least three showers per day…whatever I like to be clean! Nurse Friend swears that no one showers before going to the pool, this is news to me. I called her dirty just joking of course.

Before we left I had to make sure to pick up a magnet for Granny SJ. It’s a sort of running tradition that every time I go to a new city I bring back a magnet for Granny SJ’s fridge. Anywho while shopping we ended up in this store called 9th Chakra. Now I am not into the mystical crystal thing because well I believe in Jesus. I don’t mean that to be demeaning or religiously superior, whatever makes your boat float, row but I give my problems to the Lord. But anyway while in the store I was drawn to this one stone, Rose Quartz. I was surprised to see this stone is associated with my astrological sign, Virgo.

Rose Quartz: Stone of Love and Relationships. Brings about nurturing and kindness, heals the heart and helps develop unconditional love. Soul mate finder.

This I find to be very interesting considering my home life recently. I smiled and purchased a pocket version of the stone. I don’t know why but I did it against my better judgment. What harm could it do really…which brings me back to the bitterness of returning home. I have to face the reality of my personal life which I escaped just briefly in Miami.

As I mentioned He Who Must Not Be Named called shortly before the vacation to tell me that he missed me, he was sorry he didn’t mention the whole wife situation and oh yeah his cousin died the day of the wedding (fell off the roof or some such nonsense…if he was getting married why the frig would he be on a roof?). Of all of these things the one I most believe, he misses me. I have no faith in him! I presume a full adult conversation putting all the cards on the table is due besides the whole don’t f*cking call me again!

Oh should I add that I ran into 21 Jump Street’s live in friend/girlfriend on the plane back to Philly. Story of my life I guess. Don’t worry we didn’t have a Housewives of Atlanta moment- she doesn’t even know who I am and not about to go there because there’s no reason for it. No use upsetting her monkey cart, his deceit will come to a head.

Small note I did kinda miss Mailroom Boy while I was away, thought about him a lot some good some not so good….what does that mean peoples?????

5 Pardon My French:


WOW! I wish there was a way to block the Spaniard's number....I know mean, huh. But I can't help it. If I ever seen him, I'd wanna smack him & say "fool, you knew you were married" :End Smack

Anywho, happy you had a relaxing vacay! Water, sand, friends, liquor & men eye candy, always helps to relax me, oh & yummy food & naps!

ReformingGeek said...

Your trip sounds fun. I wish the men I get to see in speedos resembled Michael Phelps.

I think your rose quartz is working. Call mailroom guy.

mr. nichols said...

I survived you being away. I didn't know if I would be able to, but you're back! Good to see you made it back in one piece (well, despite the pieces that are peeling off. i do hope the sunburn has worn off by now.) It sounds like you had a real good time. I do think you should have a conversation with the dude, if for nothing else than for closure on your end. Is Mailroom Boy gonna get that post-vacay call?

La'Tonya Richardson said...

I could hear you saying baaaabyyy. My best friend says that. That means it's oh, so, serious! I had to smile real hard, and smiling right now!

The beach sounds so good, the wind blowing over the water... but the men in nut munching speedos gave me a visual, I can't stop laughing about.

Glad you had a good time. Give poor Mailroom boy a call. Did you bring him something back? :)

Chaotically Calm said...

@Diva, oh it's not mean and his number is blocked from my phone. He pulled a slick one and called from an unfamiliar number, loser. The eye candy was nice in South Beach and the beverages were nicer.

@Reforming, I called it was fun but I am torn about our friendship/relationship whatever you want to call it.

@Mr. Nichols, Mailroom Boy got the call. We were supposed to go bowling but due to his late nature we ended up missing the lanes. We grabbed a drink and chatted it up at the diner.

Side note the back is still peeling, but the pain is way gone!

@La'Tonya, oh don't take his side and I did call him. I debated getting him a gift and opted not to because I don't need to murk up the waters any more than they already are. Did I mention that I have so many mixed feelings about him.


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