A Quarter Life Crisis

Rants With Atmosphere!!!

Giving it a Go...

On Thursday The Spaniard “lost” his cell phone in my apartment. Instead of being late for his noon appointment he dashed out and left me to do the all out bed/ living room search. (He was late anyway this just gave him an excuse someone would actually empathize with as opposed to the truth!) After breaking a sweat, flipping my mattress and tossing the bedding to the floor in a mode of complete fluster I remembered the one place it could be, in my top drawer. Probably slid down when I opened it to grab…. Being the creature of habit that he is, he always leaves his keys, wallet and phone on my dresser near the TV so why I didn’t think to look there first is beyond me but maybe the destroy your bedroom in violent fury gods were plotting against me.

In any event I had his phone for a couple of unattended hours. As I positioned myself to unlock the keypad and read his personal messages I thought about a post I’d written a couple of weeks back about the Best Friend hitting the freaking roof after Dapper Dan let his fingers do the walking and his eyes do the reading. I hate it when my immature self takes hold of my body. It reminded me that I am no snoop. Although the grinning 10 new text and 5 new voice messages enticed me, I held to principle.

Damn that maturity sure does know how to stick it in and pull it out!

By nature I am not jealous so the craving to look in his phone has nothing to do with the fact that The Spaniard remains chatty cathy friends with an ex who proposed to him. Ok well maybe a little but I wouldn’t call it jealousy as much as calculated concern. Of course by nature I am nosy so I felt the best way to cure this divided sense of temptation and principle was to swiftly drive his portable things sacred to him before I got the best of myself. It was a good plan besides how would I feel if he unintentionally intentionally perused my cell. Besides calling him some choice names which I won’t write because they are R rated he’d also receive his walking papers. No if ands or buts about it because privacy and trust are two things I take very seriously.

Not that I have things to hide besides a few blog posts written in transit, The Spaniard isn’t privy to the blog it’s really for his own good. And probably a couple choice photos of ex tools that I just can’t bring myself to delete. In particular of Vanilla Cocoa, that man is gifted and we had some pillow biting times….digressing.

Anywho the point to this post is that I made my decision. If you remember I was very much torn over the last month or so. Teetering between staying with or dumping The Spaniard with the possibility of dating Mailroom Boy but sometimes mountains of work, a mini tiff and make-up nooky open communication puts it all in perspective for you.

The Best Friend was right….if someone has the ability to make you upset you probably care. Oh it sounds so hokey and corny but at the end of the day it’s true. And so The Spaniard and I survived the first spat and I am giving it a serious go. That’s progress…for me former Faith would have sent him packing with three strikes and not thought twice about it. I think I am gold star deserving this month.

Now to breaking the we’re just friends I see you like my brother conversation with Mailroom Boy…wish me luck folks.

In other news, Wander asked that I post that American Idol sucks major a$$. Not sure why she's riled up but I hear the underdog took it and others fans of the played out show are up in arms as well. It's good to know Wander is in good company. Since she doesn't comment and hasn't been reading lately, I will just say you're welcome mommy!

1 Pardon My French:


Wow. You & the Spainard are Serious....even with summer rolling through??? :) "Faith & Spainard sitting in the tree...k-i-s-s-ing"... that was a "nice adult" move. Sometimes cell-y's are secret journals, and if you go digging, you're bound to find something you don't want to see. Then you have to keep it a secret, cause you didn't want him to know you were snooping & not 100% on board with the trust thing... a vicious cycle...


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