A Quarter Life Crisis

Earlier I decided that I was gonna post about Barbie (that bad ass tattoo having harlot). But then I said to myself, Faith (because I use my formal name when I talk to myself) pretty much every humoblogger will have something to say about that hussy so I figured I’d make good on my promise to post about 21 Jump Street leaving the island.

Disclaimer: This is gonna be a long one boys and girls settle in and enjoy!

It’s official! If I believed in sad song funerals we could play this but we all know I throw parties ( in my head celebrating the person’s life) when folks pass so chew on this oldie but goodie! After not snooping The Nurse Friend and I stumbled upon some interesting information about 21. Let me give you some back story first.

21 and I have known each other since my freshman year in college. A backstabbing bitch former friend introduced him as a guy she was at the time dating which is girl linguisticals for think of him as fugly because he is way off limits! An almost lawsuit later I learn that former friend (after graduating and running into 21) and 21 Jump Street never dated and he was in no way ever interested in her. Quite the contrary he kept coming around because his compadres took a liking to former friend’s chicas. Not to mention that former friend actually told 21 (when he asked about me) that I was dating Male Nurse Friend.

WTH, that cock blocking gremlin!

Anywho after that chance meeting, a few years back 21 and I started hanging out but our “status” was in constant flux. Were we friends, more than friends play cousins….you get my drift. I mean I even made this boy plates of food, what the hell was I drinking? OK I admit to the 15yr old girl crush but like I said when I met him he was off limits so I pushed it down and it kinda felt awkward letting it out.

Fast forward a little, The Best Friend said I should just hop on his face, she’s nasty like that but what she met was I should tell him how I felt. It’s funny with guys I truly like there’s a constant rejection fear that impairs my actions. Of course I let the moment pass and little by little we just stop speaking or more accurately fell off speaking regularly. We would send an occasional text, which I guess in retrospect was our (both 21 & I) way of reminding the other that there was something “else” there.

We never discussed this infamous else, ever!

Then Nurse Friend and I plan the New Years Eve soiree. No need to dwell on the details I was off my asscotch drunk. Needless to say 21 actually swung by with his rag tag group of friends. Designer Jeans took a liking to The Nurse Friend and I spilled my guts to 21 about years of crushing to which he reciprocated. Jackpot, cue this song.

After getting the monkey off my chest I was fine to let it lie. Truly I was, remember at the start of the year I started seeing Jersey Boy. It was short lived and rightfully so but at the time I was seeing someone else. Suddenly the text messages start flowing from 21, the bomb shell text that sealed the deal was his phantom, I miss you! I thought, Faith it could happen this time, the good Lord puts people in your life for a reason or a season.

At the same token I was cautious, and it didn’t hurt that I was on assignment for work in Chicago for several weeks so there was little that I could do anyway. I’m home by Valentine’s Day. Nothing special but we hung out along with Nurse Friend and Designer Jeans. It was nice, I smiled. But I told Nurse Friend that something was off, outside of the lbs he’d gained since I’d actually seen him last (can’t count the soiree as I was drunk and mildly in heat or so I am told).

She agreed there was something rotten in Philly. Again I wasn’t that phased because in between 21’s randomness I met the greatest most sexalicious Spaniard this world over on my way to the airport, remember I was on assignment in Chicago. And of course there was Mailroom Boy (did I mention he is winning so many cool points these days).

Let me set the stage here I am honest with everyone, no one is under the impression I am seeing him exclusively, alrighty back to 21’s Demise.

In the past week or so I started up a social networking page. With any social networking page you search out and seek those you know to add as friends. Well of course I am going to add 21 among others. Wonderful, the first thing I noticed which I thought was slightly odd, 21 doesn’t have his relationship status showing. Of course he doesn’t have his political or religious views showing either so this could be nothing, again female overanalyzationism taking over. I move on.

A few days later, I’m online and decide to rummage through friends' pictures. Believe me no intentions of snooping here folks, that’s not my way. In general I am pretty direct. I run across a picture on his page with the caption that makes a reference to 21 Jump Street being someone’s boyfriend. Picks up her imaginary detective hat and badge Letting my fingers be the guide I click away to this person’s page. There’s another picture which clearly references him as this girl’s boyfriend. Interesting!

Later that night I enlist The Nurse Friend. She loves this kind of stuff. After some clever page skimming she uncovers that not only is he boo-ed up he is in fact a live in boo. Cue the violins people the ship is sinking!

My lesson, even nice guys can lie. I thought we were at least better friends than this, and minus my drunken night he came after me.

Side note, what does one say to his girlfriend in order to leave their mutual dwelling to be with someone else on New Year’s Eve and Valentine’s Day…….

Oh the icing on this cake after posting my status on the social networking site stating even nice guys lie, 21 thinks we need to have a face to face conversation, dare I say about what LMAO!!!!!!!