A Quarter Life Crisis

Rants With Atmosphere!!!

Another Day In Schaumburg


Last night I decided to use my gym shoes. Come on no applause necessary from the peanut gallery. I pranced OK I rode the elevator to the first floor and entered the surprisingly up to date gym provided by the wonderful folks at the Marriot in Schaumburg, this made up for sticking me with two full size beds instead of the fabulocity (stole that from Kimora) of a California King. I mean who comes to a hotel to sleep in a child’s bed? Of course I hopped from bed to bed because well they forced me into the double full. Digressing!

To say I was impressed is an understatement with the work out facility. Everything was state of the art in particular an elliptical machine ready with iPod docking station which transformed the internal television (that’s right cable on the dashboard) into a touch screen iPod remote, alls yeah people pump pump pump pump it up!

Instead of the lazy gym go-er quick start I upped the ante and opted for the mountain trek. Not because I’m inherently opposed to lazy gym behavior but the mountain trek provided a visual (again on the internal TV screen) video diagramming my push up the hill. I’m all about the visuals folks. It made me feel all Lewis & Clarkish foraging my way virtually through the hills.

Wait did Lewis & Clark really forage? You get my drift I wasn’t a history freak in high school!

This feeling of wonderfulness towards the Marriot and my whole gymnasium experience came to a crashing halt, why the frig were all the vending machines non operable, no one calls rooms service for a Dr. Pepper (hello 18% gratuity). Under normal circumstances this wouldn’t make me mad but I’d already showered and transformed from work out Faith to get some work done in my skimpy nighties Faith. Not to mention my hair was tied up Aunt Jemima style in a scarf and I didn’t bring suitable bedroom shoes (slippers, flip-flops what have you) with me on the trip.

What a ginormous inconvenience! This meant peeling out of the nighties into semi work attire and putting on my sneakers sans socks, I don’t like how that feels. For some reason I couldn’t locate that other pair of gym socks in my suitcase. Those narsty TSA workers must have grabbed them during the invasion of my bag. Not to mention having to de-Jemima my hair ( I wouldn’t want to be accosted in the hall and asked to to flip flap-jacks) which is a task in and of itself.

All this for a damn Dr. Pepper!

In the whole scheme of things a little caffeine pick me up probably wasn’t worth the effort but I’m talking Dr. Pepper folks and we all know I’m a Pepper, You’re a Pepper…….

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