A Quarter Life Crisis

Rants With Atmosphere!!!

2 For 1

Someone please tell me if Allen Gant is still alive. If he is, tell him that his invention created more problems than rescues. Sure he probably deserves a gold star sticker and his name in the record books for the whole two for one: panties and hosiery all wrapped up in a nice pretty package, right!

WRONG.....what you get is a tiny piece of fabric that derives pleasure from embarrassing you and being a major pain in the tushie. For those of you out there who are still confused; pantyhose suck butt. Wait they hold up butts....that's not where I was going with this.

Today after my 4Th trip to the facilities,I drank too much water sitting at my desk pretending work, I noticed that the hose they were a running. I'd managed to put my left thumb nail through the top seem of the hosiery. Light bulb....supposedly nail polish can stop a run in it's tracks. I just so happen to travel prepared, and because I slightly live out of my suitcase size handbag, I had bottle of the nail polish ready. Attacking the run at the seem, hoping to salvage my $20 no panty-lines pantyhose, I went to work polishing the hole.

After splattering hot pink, yum yum get me some polish on my outer thigh, I mean the run in the stockings I watched as the little train trackish split made it's way down past my knee all the way to my left ankle. So this turned out to be an even bigger untrue than weapons of mass destruction. Not to mention I still had half a day of play working to complete. Dammit!

I mean these things are damn durable enough to strangle your average sized adult male why the hell can't they withstand a minor prickling by a slightly un-sculpted fingernail?

Tell me....someone out there tell me why?

2 Pardon My French:

Don Lewis said...

You are quite funny and you elicit hormonal feelings as well. What a lovely combo.

Barry said...

Ditto what don said, but seriously )or not) I think that hose thing is planed obsolescence - they gotta sell more you know :P


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