A Quarter Life Crisis

Since everyone else is jumping on the bail me out band wagon what's one more sagging industry to stick on the tax payers? And by tax payer I mean me. Me, the girl who goes to work everyday and painfully listens as the actuaries beside me talk numbers to death.

What the hell is so interesting about mathematical triangles? Obviously I missed something in first year algebra.

But I digress. This morning I heard something that made me hit the damn ceiling. Well not really the ceiling as much as the inside roof of the car but you get my drift. If it wasn't enough to take on Fannie, Freddie, AIG and the struggling pick up truck makers of America we (the hoodwinked ailing tax payers) might actually bail out the porn industry. No need to turn the station you heard me right.

Larry Flynn and Joe Francis are on their way to Washington to discuss the preliminaries. Just kidding, but only about them heading to DC part. I am not however joking about the schleppers of all things sex trying to get their sticky paws on 5B of the government's bail out funds.

In the distance I hear the founding fathers moaning in their graves. Oh the nerve of those pornography jackarses! On the flip side one could argue that this is an industry we just can't let fail. I mean how are dirty teenage boys gonna learn the art of not making love and knocking up their girlfriends? This type of tutorial is priceless.

Deep inside I'm agonizing at the thought that High School Gang Bang 4 might go un-produced this year. Where are all those monster hung man-whores and ridonkulously stacked sluts gonna work, Burger King? You already know I have germ issues....I don't feel comfortable letting Ta Ta Toni whip up my onion rings. Don't get me wrong but the last time I checked they didn't teach burger flipping skills on a mattress, table top, bar stool, floor or any other get her done surface. Of course that could be me over analyzing.

Flynn noted that since the economy went on vacation he's seeing a lot less traffic. Oh cry me a river you butt munch! Let me see, is your house up for grabs at the city auction? Are you making a choice between heating your home and feeding your children? Did your manager hand you a pink slip on Friday and say thanks for 15 years of hard work but things are slow right now? No, that didn't happen?

You mean to tell me that the only thing you're complaining about is a couple million less whack offs. Oh wait, this industry is just too big to let fail, or at least this is what I've been force feed into believing in the not to recent past about every other dying commercial enterprise.

At the end of the day what's another 5B to tack on to the growing trillion plus dollar debt?