A Quarter Life Crisis

Rants With Atmosphere!!!


Bidding a quick fare-thee-well to Jersey Boy. Such a short lived romantic interest but a nice way to wet my feet as I stumble back into the dating scene. I must give thanks to the man for breaking me out of the non-dating funk to begin 2009 with a bang.

He received his final strike this past weekend and what better fitting way to strike out but in the bowling alley? The symbolism is kind of tongue-in-cheek funny to me. Strike number one occurred before the first date, it happens, he has a kid.

There's nothing inherently wrong with children outside of them festering germs. What I detest is Baby Mama Drama! Oh I'm not saying he has it but when there's a kid in the picture there's always a chance (75% or greater) that there's some dumb chick thinking she's being replaced along with casual sexual relations between said daddy and mommy. Experience has taught me that sex between exes with children is way common. Not to mention I asked him directly and he initially began to lie but ended with we're trying to stop!

The first step towards recovery is admitting there's a problem.

After the trying to stop garbage Jersey Boy earned another half strike. Trivial, maybe but I don't like weird threesomes. That brought his tally at the start of second date to 1 1/2 strikes. It wasn't looking good for him considering he was a strike and half from the curb. But hey unlike bowling Faith strikes can be erased with good behavior.

Regardless, still smiles because there's no sense rushing frown lines, I continued the "date." I put date in quotations because when friends join minus a girlfriend, wife, fiance significant other whatever date morphs to two guys out with third wheel girl who might be a lipstick lesbian. Not that I have problems with hanging out with the boys. Boys are fun! Boys are cute but during the I want to get to know you phase I don't invite my girlfriends because they're distracting.

Side note his friend was hella hot, more my type than Jersey Boy, physically-dare I say the Flirting bug is back?

Add half a strike for the friend from way back joining. While I watched them catch-up, you know hash old times, women they chased, drunken night fights whatever Long Lost Friend stumbled upon a sly thanks for Jersey Boy coming out to the Bay for the wedding. Oh married, how did I miss the wedding band?

Maybe it was missing from the finger, believe me single woman always spy the ring finger, it's in the code book.

Hmmm....I consider hiding a wedding band, when everyone knows scandalous skanks love married men, a character flaw. Someone should tell Long Lost Friend that he'd get more play wearing said band instead of hiding it. It makes me think that birds of a feather flock together but I will leave the old school cliches alone today. I am getting off the point.

By midnight I'd reached my tolerance level and just wanted to go, besides entertaining two men is a bit exhausting (remember I just getting back into the swing of things). Don't worry the third strike is coming. As I'm bringing the night to a close you know dropping the work hints, conference call etc etc etc, Jersey Boy, prompted by a text from Long Lost Friend (you're not slick I can see both of you texting-ugh) asked if I could invite one of my friends to entertain his buddy.


The last time I checked I worked as a consultant not a match making service and I damn sure ain't running no ring of harlots. Did I over analyze that request? Maybe, it was just drinks he was after right? It's normal for a recently married man to spend time with single, unattached woman other than his wife under mood lighting and drinking the freak-me serum and it be completely nothing, right? Judging by his conversation all night with the midgets I tend to think not.

Me: "Um...not gonna happen, didn't your friend say he's married?"
Jersey Boy: "Yeah but we're all adults. Whatever they do is their business."
Me: " So true and this adult would like to be walked to her car, thanks."

It was late and I figure muscular 6'9" black man is scarier than me.

The walk to the car was a touch awkward all that adultery talk in the air I guess. He still attempted a kiss, sorry no the cheek is your friend.

Jersey Boy: "So when are we gonna chill?"

Chill - code word for come to my house and attempt sex....maybe he missed the date signals I was sending by the end.

Me: "Yeah not sure that's gonna happen, night."


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