A Quarter Life Crisis

Rants With Atmosphere!!!

One Of These Things Is Not Like The Other....

Guess...which one doesn't belong, come on play along one of these things is not like the other......OK I'm lying. They are all the same you know minus the fact that Bart Simpson is a cartoon character and that Sonny Bono had an unfortunate skiing accident that left him very un-alive....or did it?

Oooohhhhh creepy

Since all of these lovely folks right here believe in Scientology, maybe Sonny's thetan is floating around amongst the masses. For all I know he could be passing as the Governator of California, hell crazier things have happened you know like 75 billion years ago the Alien leader Xenu....oh never mind.

Before ya'll start thinking I did some shrooms over the weekend I'll clue you in, I didn't. I did however get semi-yelled at by Granny SJ after she sent some cryptic message (Red yellow black white) through Wander that I didn't understand. Digressing.

OK I'm gonna let you in on another Faith-ism. I'm fascinated by Scientology. Not so fascinated I want to go on their website and find a "church" near me. They probably wouldn't accept me because I'm poor, those damn elitist jerks. More importantly I am not the cult type. Believe me there is a type that succumbs to the Scientology brand of passive manipulative aggressive behavior.

Besides I get my fill when I run into the Hari Krishnas at my neighborhood Wawa. That's right folks they have a little shrine/temple thinger across the street and I sometimes drive by and wonder what weird cult-ish mildly insane activities happen behind the walls. (I was a criminal justice major in college and I took classes on gang banging and cults people seek these types of homes for similar reasons.)

What I find intriguing, the whole levels thing. If my research is correct there are eight levels of Scientology. It's not a religion it's a game. Everyone is trying to get to the final level which exists as a spiritual manifestation of oneself. I take this to mean that at some point during Tom Cruise's career he's gonna evaporate into a thin mist and float away. Hopefully this occurs during another rant with Matt Lauer or hopping coaches with Oprah. Everyone will get to see and no one can refute that Scientology is in fact the truest truth.

Seriously how can you doubt a "religion" born from the mind of a crappy half baked science fiction writer sipping on fermented beverages sailing the seven seas?

It is somewhat troubling that Jason Lee (My Name Is Earl) sips the toxic kool-aid. I honestly wouldn't have pegged him for one of the I need something to make me seem whole type of religious freaks. And honestly if one of the things your group can tout is Charles Manson (mega watt lunatic) took classes and decided wow this shit is too crazy even for me, you might want to rethink your dogma.



This was an odd post, but I was in a weird mood today.

8 Pardon My French:

HumorSmith said...

I didn't know about the levels. Kinda explains why Cruise is so levelheaded.

luvinyounow said...

Very interesting post indeed lol.

I was curious about Scientology a couple of years ago too though. Not in a "I want to convert" way...more like a "what the heck is this Scientology stuff?" way. So I looked it up on Wikipedia. I didn't really understand it, so I stopped my research lol.

cardiogirl said...

p.s. I am so pissed that my blog's reading level is Elementary School. Just needed to share that.

cardiogirl said...

Wait, wait, WAIT! I just posted a long rant about how Jerry Seinfeld cannot be a Scientologist.

Ugh, it will ruin my day if I find out he really is a Scientologist and not a Jew.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Chaotically Calm said...

@Cardio, yeah it was troubling to hear about Jerry. I am told he is not a Tom Cruise card carrying member but took some courses and found it to be very enlightening.

No way you're blog scored elementary....I would do the best out of three.

@Luvinyounow, it can be tricky I find that the more I know about it the less I seem to know. It kinda seems like there's a prize at the end if you can figure it all out and that might be the weird mojo lure that gets people stuck in it. It was probably a good thing you stopped while you were ahead.

@Humorsmith, it makes so much more sense now doesn't it.

Jenn Thorson said...

They won't accept you because you'll be using critical thinking, saying to yourself, "But wait, isn't this little session a bit like... a sort of hypnotism?" And then when you get to the top level and find that the whole thing is supposedly run by a giant alien squid?

Just look up L. Ron Hubbard a bit-- he was a schizophrenic science fiction writer with a persecution complex and megalomania. It's fascinating stuff, but terrifying.

Crowscious said...

Scientology scares me. Any religion based on.. hmmmm.. MONEY is like, just plain... hmmm. fishy :) But tats jus me :)

Chris said...

I don't know much about it but if Tom Cruise is a member and I expect some other movie stars are members then it has got to be a very odd club indeed.

Movie people in my opinion don't really know who they are after playing so many different characters so this club is probably a false attempt at finding themselves as they get older.

still, if you can get away with it and make money why not?

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